Fay Fay go away

This tropical storm was a pain in the butt. The winds weren't that bad, but the flooding was! We had a river in the front of our house. There were people canoeing by. All is well, we survived, but no school again today. Thus far the kids have already missed two days of school and this is our first week!

Let's hope that this is the last of it.

MODERN TECHNOLOGY!

I am back..... Computer was down and out again. It seems like a month, but its only been a week. Lots to talk about. The Nana and pop pop are back. They had a great time, and now are planning a new trip to the Panama Canal (shameful plug coming) SO if anyone is interested in tagging along let me know. They will be sailing from Ft.Lauderdale thru the Canal and into San fran on April 26th.

ok, back to me. Nicolette starts school on Monday, so excited for her, and so sad for me. It's only Pre-k so its only from 8:30 till 11:30 that's not too bad.

We went to open house today and she had a great time. They have an indoor jungle-train and waterfall, tree house and all kinds of great things for the lil peanuts to play with. How come they didn't have this stuff when we were kids?

Well, another storm is rolling in so before my computer dies again, or I get struck by some electric shock, I am shutting down.

Peace

-Zila

Forgive me Nana for I have sinned.

It has been approximately 22 years since my last confession.

OK, so here i am driving to your house to collect the mail and check on the house (we had another bad storm come through town) etc. I am en route when the next thing I know, I am at the window of our beloved Dunkin Donuts. Without even thinking I blurt out "medium carmel iced coffee, cream , 2 sugar". I wondered how I even got there. It was all a blur. The car was on autopilot I surmised.

Then, as I hold the chilled container that holds what I can only describe as liquid gold, I take a long sip (much like a smoker that takes that beloved drag of a cigarette) that seems to last forever. Then it hits me, the familiar friend that I have been missing. I am ecstatic. But as quickly as that feeling hits me it is gone equally as fast.

Good bye feeling good, HELLO guilt. How could I have gone without you? How could I knowing that you were feeling the same emptiness. Each day on board the cruise ship, having to settle for something less than perfection? I am ashamed.

Well, I was ashamed until I took another sip!! Then all over again, that warm and fuzzy feeling of content that only dunkin's coffee could give.

The cycle continues, the guilt with pleasure after every sip. Now for the first time I truly understand that saying "Guilty Pleasure".

So Nana, what do you say a few Hail Mary's and we're good?

PS. Is there a local chapter of D.A. (dunkin's anonymous) in Port Saint Lucie?
oxoxoxox

A long week

It's been one week since I have had the pleasure of going to Dunkin Donuts. Although my wallet thanks me, my mouth does not. I have been dying to get my hands on a Medium Regular cup of Coffee...If and when I start getting the shakes (much like a junkie needed his/her fix) then I might consider going, but knowing that Nana has no Dunkin's in Alaska I will feel rather guilty going.

Out with the old!

There are 16 more days left until the first day of school. I guess Florida starts a little earlier than most states. I guess it's because of the heat, but I am not 100% sure. So, today we spent the whole day going through Nicolette's clothes and taking inventory of what is needed.

Conclusion- She needs SOCKS.

Yup, I have been slowly accumulating clothes here and there, somewhat like a squirrel gathering nuts for the winter. And to my pleasant surprise we only need some socks. :)

I did manage to take away 2 large garbage bags of clothes to send to the goodwill, and her closet actually looks organized. For how long will it stay that way, Who knows. But for now, I can't help but smile at the progress we made today.

PS. the Nana countdown is 7 days and counting

"ALL" Aboard, except the parents

A conversation that I have had a few times with different people from time to time, is the subject of children flying without parents. The other day when I was at the airport with my folks, there were 12 children traveling to Seattle alone. Some might have had siblings, but no adult and certainly no parent.

I am not sure why this bothers me so much, but it does. I just can't imagine placing my child on a plane alone to visit a grandparent or whomever, knowing the history of the airline industry. Cancelled flights, delays, emergency landings, etc.

I have a hard time with all of these scenarios, let alone a child. I think of all of the "what if's" and I get that sick feeling in my belly.

So, that leads me to another point, or apology.

My sister got invited to a party in Maine for her best friend. I said that she should go, and that I would watch the kids, she could just go overnight and come home. She politly passed on the offer, and OF COURSE what did I do... Continued with MY reasons why she should go, not paying attention to the underlying reason why she didnt want to.

She didnt want to travel without them incase something happened. I know only to well this feeling as I last year was to travel for my job to St.Paul, and had a panic attack while boarding the plane, and couldnt get on. Needless to say, I never made it to St.Paul and lost my job. BUT I did make it home safe, and that was the most important thing to me. So, I get that 100%, and as i said before I am trying to "talk less and listen more".

So, knowing two parents who dont want to travel without their kids, how is it that many can and do?

I would love to hear the otherside of this conversation to get a better perspecitve, maybe I am missing something.

The Silent Treatment

I find it amusing that at this age, I am still subject to the ever so deadly "silent treatment". Do i deserve the treatment? Perhaps. But I actually don't see the point. As if I really mind the peace and quiet! Ha. It's been several days and my husband has decided that I am not worthly of his words! Double HA HA.

However, last night he needed someone to pick him up... So who did he call... YUP, he actually had to put his tail between his legs and call ME.. HA HA HA.

So, I did what any good wife would do... GLOAT.

Hardy Har Har Har.

Lost & Found

No need to worry. I guess in Alaska things are a little slower than here. The folks were at the Hotel, but I guess it wasn't in the system yet. SO, they have been found!

A few gray hairs later, but they are found!

Sending out an S.O.S

Poof and they are gone.

After I successfully dropped my folks off at the Orlando Intl Airport last night for there "Great Alaskan Adventure" they have manage to have quiet the adventure already.

Cancelled flights, missed connections because of bad weather, and now for the last 4 hours I HAVE NO IDEA where they are.

Apparently they managed to get to Fairbanks, (several flights later)but have not checked into the hotel, which is all of 10 minutes from the airport!

The great Houdini could learn a little something from this disappearance act.

I will keep you posted!

Northern Lights in Port Saint Lucie Florida?

You know that feeling when something is calling you to do something? Driving you to get up and go for some reason? Well, about 5 minutes ago, hearing some normal afternoon thunderstorms I was Beckoned outside.

To my Delight this is what was calling me....






Now, believe this or not my mom and I were talking about wether or not she was going to see the Northern Lights while in Alaska, and I mentioned that was one thing that I wanted to see, to experience being that close to what some might call "heaven".

Seperation Anxiety

I wake up this morning and realize that tomorrow around this time, I will be taking my folks to the Orlando Intl Airport for the beginning of their Alaskan Adventure.

I am both excited and sad. Not for reasons of Jealousy that I am not going, more like what am I going to do without you know who... The NANA. I have made a list of all the things that we (Nicolette & I )are not going to do without her.

1. Go to our favorite spots

a. Dunkin Donuts
b. Any boutique this side of Florida
c. Wal-Mart
d. Publix ( apparently we are not eating while she is away )

2. Do our Favorite things

a. go to the movies
b. go to Breakfast with the Blue hair Ladies
c. go to beach
d. go to sprinkler park

I guess Nicolette and I are just going to sit home and just be pool potatoes!!!!

Nana, for the love of Mary GET HOME QUICK!

Plastic Surgery Pro or Con?

I say...... drum rolls please..... C'mon, anyone who knows me well enough can figure this one out. I am Pro.

Let me explain why.

OK, I had my first and only child to date at age 34. That means whatever elasticity that would have, should have been in my skin moved out long ago. Hence, the sagging skin on my belly that slightly resembles the flap under your front door, (the one that is used to keep out drafts). You know it moves with you and against you at the same time. An ugly site on both the door and myself.

Also, I have stretch marks that are wider than the grand canyon and lets not kid anyone here, what am i suppose to do with them? Can't bring them in for "show and tell". So i say "Gone with them". Slap some happy gas mask on me, knock me out and make me come out looking like I was 18. Well, MAYBE not 18, but you get my point.

So, here we have it...confirmation of sorts that I am vain!

Yup. Won't spend $25.00 on a new dress for myself, but will save all my pennies to be on an episode of Nip/Tuck.

Let's hope my doctor is just as hot as Julian McMahon.

I am in the KNEED of a Knew KNEE!

OK, OK, call me what I am.... a GIMP. The other day I was on the bed, and zigged when I should have zagged and twisted my (already BAD) knee so much that you actually heard a loud POP.

As tears swelled up in my eyes, I tried to suck them back in as to attempt to be brave for Nicolette as she was looking as scared as if she saw a ghost. I did manage to squeak out "Mom's ok hunny, just moved the wrong way", and ever so slowly limped out of that room, to another and let those tears jump out from my eyes on to the floor.

Now, several days and advil later, the pain is still there, especially when I manage to move just the right way and send this unbelievable JOLT of pain up my leg and to my back. I guess I will attempt the holistic approach a little longer before I put my tail between my legs and go to the Doctor who will undoubtedly give me a handful of drugs and push me out the door and lure his next victim in!

If there are any mystical forces that happen to find my blog, please, please , please send something my way!

V for Validation!

So, today was an ironic one. Earlier this morning my mom, AKA "The Nana" was talking to me about my blog. She said that she liked it, but thought that it would be better for me not to say "fuck" or "the F word" is how she explained it on my blog. I, chuckled and kindly responded "well ummmm... Yes, its there and is going to stay there. That's the whole point of my blog. To have the freedom to write what I am thinking, and not sugar coat it".

I tried to explain that point, and I hope that I did so with regard to her feelings. Of course you want to be able to express yourself, but also do not have to be rude getting your point of cross. So, Nana I hope that I didn't hurt your feelings when I was explaining why I was going to keep being Me.

So, the irony here is that I got an email from a reader (that will remain anonymous, for the sole reason that I think if she wanted her comments to be know then she would have posted on the blog. So, to give her privacy I will leave her name out) that appreciated how I wrote my blog. The honesty behind it, the fact that I was for real, AND liked that I was able to say Fuck... because that is how when all of our guards are down, we as a nation can get our point across.


So, I have been validated! I can be me, and people get it. I, am happy!

Thank you!

Dark Cloud

Caylee Marie Anthony..

I don't read the newspaper, or watch the news for many reasons, but mainly because it's never is GOOD news, its always something that I would rather not see. Case in point. As I am getting online, I see this story from here in Florida, one of what seems like many these days and I am saddened beyond belief.

How can a mother not report her 2 year old daughter missing? Obviously she has something to hide. How can she sleep at night? How could she lie about her daughter being at friends?
I can't ever understand how someone can hurt children, their own child. I know that animals, savage animals can harm their offspring, but Humans? Every ounce of us is suppose to protect our own, protect them with our own lives if need be. Then we read about these Mothers or Fathers who do these things and have no remorse. What is wrong with them.

When you choose, and yes CHOOSE to be a parent your suppose to love, and live for your children. If not then don't have any. Children don't choose to be born, remember that. If you can't be that parent, the one that puts everyone, and everything second and your child(ren) first, then don't have any. It's not suppose to be this way. How many more children have to go missing, or are going to be harmed by their parents?

Look at this child, how can her mother have something to do with her dissapearance? This beautiful girl could be with her grandparents that love her, but no. Her mother chose otherwise.

Although, at this point I think its hopeless, I am hoping that some miracle happens, and she is found safe!


The full story is below, just click the link.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,386576,00.html

Karate Kid part 12

Tonight my little peanut got her first stripe on her white belt. Its very cute to see her in all her glory doing her "dragon form" for Sempi Brian. She might fall now and then trying to perfect the side kick, but she gets back up again and tries her little heart out.

I have to give kudos when do, and she has a bunch of gusto in her 3 ft frame.

So, tonight I sit and watch in amazement at her accomplishment that might seem slight to some, however it means the world to her (proud) Mom.

I love you Nicolette!

Claudzila + PMS = RUN FOR YOUR LIVES

Ok, Ok. Could it possibly be that bad? HELLLOOOOOOOO, if you know me that answer is real simple. Yes, Yes, OH mother Mary yes.

It's funny, because you don't mean to snap, yell, cry whatever, it just happens. The moment that its over you feel like the biggest ass there is. I, normally try to be quiet when I get my period, because I know that on a normal day I am sometimes a bit much, so Claudzila hormonal, OMG there is no help.

But sometimes, its unforeseeable, and unpredictable so I apologize in advance for myself.

Lets hope that menopause is better! Everyone, please pray that it is, or god help you all!

-Claudzila

It's a boy!!!!

We adopted a SOLDIER.. I know I fooled some of you on that one.

After sending letters through varies caveats, such as Cracker Barrel, car shows etc. I found out you can adopt your own soldier(s) and make a difference directly.

I will be sending letters, food, games, dvd, toiletries and a whole host of things if anyone wants to help out great. You can email me and I will tell you how to donate or just send the stuff to me and I will send for you.

I am also donating my photography services to any families of soldiers that are currently serving over sea's (that are in my area of Treasure Coast Florida). It would be my honor to take family portraits for free, So email me if interested!

Remember, FREEDOM ISN'T Free, you must thank a soldier for that!

TRUST NO ONE, EXEPT FAMILY

That's all I want to waste my time saying on that subject!

(i am catching up on 2 weeks worth of Bullshit that ya'all have missed)

The Computer Age

So, I was one of those people who said, " I will never rely on Technology". I vowed I wouldn't need a computer, a cell phone, ipod and portable DVD players.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE WRONG.

I have had no computer for 2 weeks, and I think I might have actually had a slight breakdown.
I could not communicate with people, could not check my daily celebrity gossip fix on TMZ and People.com. I, for once was out of the loop on the fact that "Nicole are you really even pregnant Kidman's" childbirth happened like 4 days ago. 4 DAYS AGO. How could this be? I was desperate for something, so like a crack addict, once I got to my sister's house in Orlando, I sat down, fingers shaking with withdrawal and type in my words,

www.gmail.com AHHHHHHHHHHHH back to normalcy.

That should answer some peeps questions, "where have you been" and my answer as subtle as always " I have been in hell".